Offerings and Sacrafices
by justporcelain
Summary: Melody Hope Joseph...Voldemort's daughter. Life's cold cruelty slams down on Melody, can she see past her pain long enough to help the Order defeat Voldemort, and long enough to see that somebody else needs her love?
1. Chapter One: Door to Death

Chapter One: Door to Death 

Rain bled from the bruised and humid sky, trailing moist rivers down her bare, clammy arms. The inky tresses that fell lank over her face, dripped from it. Oblivious to the wetness that splashed upon her skin, Melody Hope wandered, lost in bitter thoughts, supposing that she really deserved all the hell she went through. Malevolent memories drifted past her emotionless pools of dull sapphire. Her eyes were haunted and clouded, washed in her memories murk.

Over and over the doorbell's maddening toll echoed through her mind. Again and again she replayed the scene: lightning cracked the sky, just like a teen horror movie, illuminating the grossly blank white mask that awaited her inadvertent invitation. She had opened the door to death.

He had her before she had a chance to scream. Marble-cold hands that had seared her body and had left behind an eerie wintry resonance, tortured her still. Despite the horrific rape she had suffered, she would endure it time and time again if only she could have Caleb back. Watching a body she had practically worshipped as it was torn, watching his scarlet blood as it was flung to splatter against the walls, had killed her soul in a way nothing else could. 

A shuddering gasp escaped her badly parched lips. The cold cruelty of it all wrapped its deathlike blanket of sorrow around her quivering shoulders. There she stood, hunched over and weeping. The sight captured Severus's cutting gaze. Scowling he stared, transfixed by her gothic beauty. She was like broken porcelain, so pale and beautiful, but cracked and unfixable. She shed wicked tears, just as she bled wicked blood. Sinful was her conception, and evil was her nature. Severus could see it radiate in her. Every tremble of her body unleashed more and more seething aura. Yet Severus knew why they needed her, she was powerful, powerful beyond any comprehension. This daughter of Satan could be molded and used against her very own creator. Standing toward the back of the small assembly Severus Snape awaited the opportunity to bring the young girl her joyous news: she was to be taken to Hogwarts school, and remain under the care of himself. As of yet she hadn't the faintest idea.

Heavily Melody wept, until her attention was drawn to the casket being lifted leisurely by the pallbearers and carelessly lowered it into a disturbing, forbidding hole. She didn't want to watch, knowing that it would only mean he was really lost, and that she might never be able to find him again. Nevertheless, that mere box, no matter how unworthy, held her Caleb. She had watched him die and she would watch him disappear.

Despite her desperate efforts, the pain kept resurfacing. No matter how deep she stuffed it, it would pour out, washing over her numb heart, warming it with the purest pain. Drenched in aguish and utter misery, she waited, still as stone, while the seconds ached past. Unsure of what else to do, she gave into her only refuge left, she prayed. 

"Oh dear Jesus, my Father in heaven, God, why are You doing this? Why? Why is he really gone? Help me Jesus, help me, help me, help me. I can't do this…I ask, no, I beg this, in Your holy and precious name. A-Amen."

When she unclasped her folded hands, she repressed the urge to lift her eyes and meet the ones bearing down on her. Caleb's family loathed her. Always had, and she could feel their hateful eyes scorching her. As always, they thought of her as a freak, the witch and something to be feared. They would be only too happy if she were to succumb to the pain and slash her wrist like she had been tempted to do. Let the warm blood pour and pool onto the floor...escape from the pain. It was just too easy. 

Conjuring the strength to look up and tear herself away from her brutal contemplations, she silently noted that black and its remarkable scale of colors were the only shades to surround her. The sky, the rain, and the faces all took upon them arrays of the soul sucking hue. Even the delicate breeze, although colorless, felt black and ominous. Allowing the breeze to catch her weak black hair and repressing the desperate need to weep, she gazed toward Caleb's tombstone; the granite was framed with roses of such a deep scarlet, they appeared to be ebony in the shadowy, overcast weather.

As daylight fell away into a remarkably cooler evening, Melody's legs shuddered unsteadily beneath her. Above, the sky was a splash of soft pastels, and the warm whisper of the zephyr carried her past the few remaining attendants. Caleb's mother and sister, although speaking with a priest, found opportunity to set their blistering emerald glare upon her. Not wishing to become the object of their rage and grief she choose to make her departure.

Off to the side, leaning against a towering concrete tombstone, was a remarkably tall, lean man. His face was quite pale; a significant contrast to the sparkling onyx of his eyes and jet black clothing. All in all, his appearance was rather sinister, even for the attendance of a funeral. The man radiated an angry, fuming demeanor. Those full black eyes seemed to move with her, and for the first time since Caleb's death she tasted fear. Although he watched her, he made no other move. Somehow she made it past him and on through the cemetery.  

By some means she found the strength inside to run. Not only did she run, she flew, and blindly at that. 

Melody raced down a deserted sidewalk, a lone lost soul in a crushingly cruel existence. Far behind her, Severus watched. Her midnight locks had come loose from their ties and trailed behind her, reminding him of a black veil of death. He knew he should follow her and quickly, should Lucius or another Death Eater choose to confront her again. And yet, he hesitated. He had seen her father in her eyes, the bland hate that could be wielded against anyone she choose. Perhaps he didn't have the amount of faith in this young girl the way Albus Dumbledore did, for the old man believed honestly that she could help them in the ongoing war between the Light and Dark. Just maybe she could, if she was willing. Once she became aware of just who her father was, would she turn to him, or fight for what was good in the world?

Shuddering despite his layers of clothing, he set off at a brisk walk to follow her. 

Was it possible that there was greater torment then this? If the gates of hell themselves were to open, the earth to crack, and if she were to fall into the wicked flames of a sinful blaze where she would burn forever…would she wither and scream and want this back? An icy shiver caressed Melody's frail body, and despite her burning thoughts of hell, the rain was still a piercing cold. Drops bled like frozen fire down the bare nape of her neck, forming a freezing blanket out of the collar on her black silky dress shirt. Her head was drooped, the front of her body blurred into a humid sea of tears. 

It was as if she had cracked when the anguished scream erupted from her mouth, without warning. Every fiber in her body exploded with white rage, blinding her. The livid force flowing between her lips brought her to her knees.

"Where are you Jesus!? Where!? I need you now!" Her tapering fingers dug through the tangled mess of her hair. Maddened by the exploding grief, she was only vaguely aware of what she was saying, what she was doing. After a time, the screaming broke off into loud wracking sobs. 

"You were never really here were you? Never. Not one fucking time. This is as good as any hell you could create! You have forsaken me," and her wild, angry sobs lessened, fading away into hiccups and sniffs. With a dead spirit she uttered words she never would imagine herself saying.  

"Well, I forsake you too. Damn your wrath." 

The crackling of the fire did nothing to soothe Melody's troubled soul. As the flames licked greedily to the heavens, pouring bitter smoke from their midst, the young girl fought a deep inner battle. Fingering the small sterling silver crucifix that fell across her slender neck, she allowed her mind to wander as she tried desperately to ward off the doubt and suspicion that wormed it's evil way into her heart.

Like smoke, her memories drifted. Caleb with his soft blonde hair and those glorious emerald eyes, danced before her. His perfect body and that swift smile that set even more happiness into each gentle crevice of his face. Remembrance was a bitter obsession, but it was all she had left. Nevertheless, these were snapshots of times long past and better forgotten. As well as the beautiful, she was forced to remember the grotesque scenes of death that would surely haunt her forever. 

Numbly she pulled at the thin chain around her neck, until she felt the silent release. Clutching the tiny crucifix she stood and walked toward the sizzling orange fire. Without hesitation she tossed the necklace emotionlessly into the blaze. The glint of silver was quickly lost and she turned away, following the memorized path up the winding staircase that had only days before been washed in crimson blood. The iron smell was still thick in her nostrils, although it was only a ghost of a memory.


	2. Chapter Two: Summer's Night

Chapter Two: Summer's Night 

Summer's night was cold. While the day had been sultry, the night was shocking in its contrast. Briskly he walked, knowing full his destination and what would have to take place. He knew it would not be an easy task, but sometimes you had to do things you didn't like. Taking this girl away from her home and forcing her back into the world of magic, a place she did not wish to return to would be no easy chore.

The house before Severus's stone eyes was built of crisp white siding. Shutter framed windows stared back at him, with an equally vapid expression. Effortlessly, he took the low concrete steps in one stride, making his way swiftly to the head of the porch. Smooth wood soon took place of the concrete beneath his feet; and to his left was a swinging bench, cushioned with burgundy pillowing.

Chills glided down his spine, reaching out like lightning through his veins. Lucius Malfoy had stood in this very same spot, but his intent had been considerably darker than Severus's. There were few times in his life that he could remember being truly hesitant, this was surely one of them. Fighting for his usually cool, careless, emotionless character, Severus knocked on the gleaming front door. 

Seconds crept passed, minutes crawled, and soon it was evident that there would be no answer to his knock. Opting for his only other alternative, short of breaking in, he rang the doorbell. Still there was no reaction.

Wishing he did not have to force his way in, Severus carefully took out his wand, after murmuring a short charm, the door was opened to him. His quiet entrance had brought him into a clean, well-kept foyer. Polished wood glared accusingly up at him through the cloak of darkness. Wishing not to continue in the gloom, _Lumos_, and his wand was immediately lit with a soft glow.

The gentle knocking on her front door woke Melody, carefully she had thrown her feet over the side of the bed, and they met noiselessly with the plush rose shaded carpet. Moving stealthily she made her way through the hall and to the top of the staircase. With left foot poised in mid-air, ready to descend onto the stairs, the bell rang. Insufferable was the sound that haunted her with nightmares. Frozen in her stance, she stared down into the bleak nothingness that blanketed her front room. Ready to die she waited and watched for any sign of entrance, pitifully hoping that whoever it was would simply leave. Who could be there at that hour? 

When the creaking of an opening door whispered in her ear she though she would depart this life. Someone was entering her house…uninvited. That could hardly be a glorious thing. Heart pounding erratically in her chest, and blood gushing through her veins, where the only things she could hear or feel. As a light began it's soft flush, moving silently into view of the staircase, Melody went cold.

A face became visible, barely. As it did, she went empty. Her heart seemed to stop, all feeling and all thought vanished. Hell, even blood seemed to be vacant from her cooled veins.

Severus watched Melody pale to such a staggering degree that he could not help feeling a prick of pride. As uncertain as he felt, he could still strike fear into her heart with just a mere glimpse of his face. He could feel the cruel smile slide expertly onto his lips. "Melody, please come down here. Be assured, I have not the desire to harm you." The silky voice purred without effort from his mouth. This same tone, same expression, had earned him the honor of most feared professor at Hogwarts. Git, bastard, he took all the various pet names with vulgar smugness. He was feared, hated, but most importantly respected.

He beckoned with his porcelain white tapering fingers. Not leaving her still form, his ebony eyes worked to draw her near. Although she stood atop a high staircase, the same gothic aura that had greeted him at the funeral met and seemed to surpass his own.

He could practically envision the wheels furiously turning in her brain. Escape, that's what she sought…but how? Severus knew there was no way for her to get away, unless she concluded that suicide was better than what he had planned. Flinging herself out a window and plummeting to death's waiting arms was by far too simple. Melody was much too strong for such a cowardly act; her father's venomous blood wouldn't stand for it. Though if she were to rid Severus of his doubtlessly joyous mission he would only be too happy.

Furious that she refused to respond, Severus spoke again, slower and softer. "Melody you must come with me." He waited, but her insolence was appalling. "If I intended to harm you girl, I would have taken these pathetic steps like lightning, striking just as the comprehension dawns upon your face. Come down here now, less I have to go and fetch you."

His booming timbre rocked her, at the menacing command she padded almost silently, barefoot, down to meet him. Reasoning and fear battle within her, he said he didn't wish to harm her, but he had just broken into her home. What could he possibly want? 

Standing before him finally, she was more than faintly aware of their difference in size, she was barely five foot, and he had to be six something. Forcing herself to look into his eyes, she was stunned with their dark, bleak beauty. Deep pools of onyx glittered before her, dazzling her in their sinister dance. They scowled down, each topped with one perfectly black eyebrow arched to the heavens.

"Get out of my house." She knew the order was pointless, yet she breathed the words despite. It wasn't as though he was simply going to shrug and respond with 'oh well, since you just told me to leave, after I went through all that trouble of breaking in and all…I'll just be on my way, and good day!'

In fact, she didn't get an answer at all; just one evil grin that stretched across his gorgeously pale face. This sick smile revealed one clean-cut row of white enamel. She studied him closely and noticed that he seemed to ooze cynicism. It dripped through his oily black hair, from the long clear fingernails, and from that pointy hooknose. He was not bad looking at all; in fact, in a gloomy way he was beautiful. But he was here to do something terrible to her, so she should probably stop marveling at his wicked good looks.

"I do believe there is a discussion at hand my dear." The words ran like freezing liquid off his tongue.

Without waiting for her response, he made his way to her fine sitting room. Like the bench upon her porch, the creamy leather sofas were flushed with burgundy. Carelessly he settled into Melody's favorite chair, crossing his lean legs, and draping sturdy, wiry arms over the rests. Choosing to sit as far away as possible, Melody made to sit at the far end of her couch.

"No no my darling." Motioning to the comfortable loveseat much closer to him, he lazily implied that she would sit near him.

Refusing to look away from him, she settled onto the tiny couch, nestling one of the grand pillows onto her lap.

"Melody," he spoke after she had settled in, "I am here to deliver you back into the world of magic. You will…"

"No! No I will not go ba-"

"YOU WILL." His resting hand rolled into a lily-white fist, slamming against her chair. The sudden violence made her jump; yet she was relentless.

"I will not. You cannot force me. I hate it, I hate…"

He stood, wordlessly, yet it was enough to send her sputtering, sentence unfinished. He was very serious, that scowl more grave then threatening. Towering over her he whispered, slowly. "You will join me on the trip back to Hogwarts, I trust you have heard of the school?" At her timid nod he continued, " You will meet Albus Dumbledore, the reason for your return. Once there you will learn some indefinitely interesting things about yourself." That was it, he then moved past her, in search of the kitchen. The journey had been long, and he had had little to eat since his last breakfast at the High Table.

Melody remained on the loveseat, furiously contemplating his words. What interesting things? She knew so little about her own life, her own beginning. Her mother had been Paula Renee Joseph, though her father she had never heard anything from or about. Where had she been born? Who had taken her in? Melody's earliest memory was sleeping out in winter's frost, but surely it hadn't always been that way, there had to be someone who had nurtured her until she was about four.

Following the man toward her kitchen, she dared to speak. "Who are you?"

"Severus Snape."

"Why Hogwarts?"

"It is my home, I am the Potions Professor."

"Oh."

"Where is your food?"

"Well, I haven't been to the store, since…um, well…"

"Indeed. No matter, collect your things and we shall be on our way." There was a pause; she still did not want to go. "I pray you realize by now, you have little say in this matter." He was speaking, still with his back to her. 

"I know."    
  


And thus began the unraveling of her destiny. Discarding the black bible with its rich golden engraved cover, she collected few personal possessions, photographs of Caleb and her mother, a white linen dress that had been a favorite of Caleb's and various other clothing articles. Wedged into the relatively small duffel bad was her journal, the precious account of her everyday with Caleb. Bursting with pictures and drawings the book had its own soul, holding inside its lined white pages her very life.


	3. Chapter Three: Questions and Answers

Chapter Three: Questions and Answers

No longer was night her captor. Dawn was breaking in this electrifying world. The enchanting draw of magic could still caress her soul.

Melody and Severus had apparated onto the edge of the Hogwarts grounds, along a rim of deep brown, utterly captivating trees. Never had Melody seen Hogwarts, only heard of its great wonder. Her spirit was suspended between absolute grief and euphoria. She was back. But she couldn't have Caleb in this glorious place. 

Severus wasted no time in treading through the damp grass, toward a magnificent castle that pierced through the silver wisps of mist floating in the low atmosphere. There was a calming ambiance in this place, delightfully healing. For a few precious moments she was lost in a world where evil didn't haunt her every thought. 

This quickly faded as she set off to follow Severus, she was wary of what awaited her, Albus Dumbledore was rumored to be the most powerful wizard of all time, greater than Voldemort. _Voldemort_, how could someone be so twisted and wicked in their logic? Kill all muggles and muggle-borns. How could he torture those innocent people with spells cruelly created, uniquely, for his use by those grisly followers called Death Eaters? A shudder passed through Melody, bringing with it every bit of agony she had fought to repress the last couple days. Death Eaters did Voldemort's bidding, why had he chosen Caleb? What was so special about him? Was it something to do with her and this mysterious past of hers? Was that why she was being dragged through wild grasses and magic flora, toward an enchanted palace?

So many questions, yet no answers to be spoken of. Silently she followed Severus, exhaustion creeping dangerously into her heavy eyes. She would have to stay awake enough to get some answers; it would be impossible to sleep peacefully without answered questions. Nightmares, they were her new foe, a nemesis she couldn't escape.

Looking down, she was thankful she had had the chance to change from her sleep-clothes to more practical attire. The baggy sleep-pants and the thin light shirt were stuffed awkwardly into the duffel bag swung over her slim shoulder. Swaying suddenly, she realized that she was drifting off. Sleep had evaded her the last couple days, when it did come it was riddle with gruesome nightmares. What she would give to fall into a bed she felt so safe here…no longer was she afraid of Severus Snape. They had talked a bit while she was packing, he didn't seem overly dangerous, nor any more enthusiastic about this little outing than she was.  

Singing lit through the field, a gentle harmony floating gaily through. It wasn't human but some other thrilling being. Melody looked toward Severus to see if he had any reaction to the remarkable sound. He simply kept on, moving gracefully and methodically closer to his destination. His back was straight, head high and dignified, his legs thrust out carefully and without fault. At his sides, those pale arms dangled, brushing away a stray piece of hair from his face only occasionally. He had rolled up his black sleeves to the elbow, revealing muscular forearms and flawless skin, she couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to feel those smooth arms, wrapping around her, holding her close… 

Melody! You hardly know this man and already he has you swooning. What the hell? What about Caleb?

Oh, but the guilt was dreadful, splashing over her in great smothering waves. Caleb wasn't yet a day in the ground. Reaching toward her neck to hold the silver crucifix, Melody felt a crushing sense of regret when she remembered what she had done. She had burned her cross, turned away from Jesus, and ignored her Bible.

Surely you will burn in hell for this…

Really though, she couldn't bring herself to care about hell, if that was her destiny, bring it on. She could never look Jesus in the eye and love him, after everything she had gone through. Loosing Caleb had been the last straw; there was no going back.

If there is indeed a God, I did something to piss him off; he sure isn't looking out for me anymore…if he ever was.

Again, guilt. She lost Caleb, and by choice she gave up her God, she had forsaken him. Now she was completely empty. But how could he exist if her life was so horribly wrong? Mercy didn't exist in her life.

To her sheer amazement, they had reached the castle. No longer were they stepping through tall grasses, but over a neatly trimmed lawn, an emerald blanket of gorgeousness leading to a castle so beautiful, mere words could never truly describe it. Whispering an "oh" of astonishment she stepped onto a glittering coble-stone path. The entrance was truly grand. Silver and gray stonework meshed together, shielding a watery marble floor, so reflective it was like walking upon swirling liquid. Umber bled into the rich cream flooring.

"This is the Great Hall. These are the four tables for the four houses. That is the High Table, were the Professors sit. We are going to the headmasters office, don't dally."

Great it was. An impossibly high ceiling sheltered them, raining down immense chandeliers all aglow with magically lit candles. Far above Melody's head a sleek ghost swooped, dipping and diving weightlessly through the air. Ancient whispers vibrated through the sparkling currents, a reminder of all those who had once called Hogwarts their home and an echo of all those who lived and loved there now.

An array of dashing colors painted the walls, ceilings, and floors. Radiant light shimmered around them, and yet Severus simply tore through, ignoring the luminous room they had entered. She wanted to linger, feel the rush again and again. To be in this place everyday would have to be like heaven on earth, a mystical paradise.

Reluctantly, Melody hurried after Severus. Fatigue bathed her, knocking her closer to sleep, and in this sweet place sleep would only be too easy. Through dim but splendid hallways, they walked. Twisting corridors carried them forward to a destination Melody didn't know of. Pausing before a great gargoyle statue, Severus murmured a password under his breath. In awe, Melody watched the statue move and let them pass. Up a winding staircase of incredible height and structure, they came upon a solid majestic door. Something like peace touched her. What was this room, and why was it so welcoming?

The door swung open and the two passed into an office. The room was like living poetry, a soft rhyme. Directly in front of them stood a mahogany desk, behind this desk a weathered old man sat, regal and tall. Long wrinkled beard twirled down, its end hidden behind the desk, soft periwinkle eyes knowingly smiled through light grey eyebrows. Albus Dumbledore was like a king.

"Oh hello Melody! So good to finally meet you. I am, of course, Albus Dumbledore." He reached out and clasped her small, shaking hand within his own. "Please sit. Lemon drop anyone?" Neither guest took a candy. "Shame. Severus you should really try one someday, they are simply splendid." The old man lent a teasing grin Severus's way, then, in all seriousness turned to Melody. After sitting back and studying her for a few more moments, he spoke again. "My my, you are every bit as beautiful as Paula." Speaking more to himself then to Melody.

"My mother? You, you knew her?"

"Yes dear, I knew her. Splendid woman I must say. Melody, do you know what happened to your mother after she had you?"

"She died. I don't know how."

"Voldemort had her killed." For several moments her mind was left reeling. Not saying a word she sat there, not even really seeing anything. Shock waves filled her, weighing down her heart and making it plummet to the dusty floor. Her mother and Caleb, why did this vicious bastard want everyone she loved to die? Severus and Dumbledore sat there, watching her reaction. Feeling her face pale, she took a breath, hoping to fill her soul with life once again.

"Why?" The voice was strange to her ears, small and scared. 

"I do not know for certain. Something to do with your birth."

"What? But why!? Why is he after _my_ family?"

"You are his daughter."__


	4. Chapter Four: Forwards or Backwards

Chapter Four: Forwards or Backwards 

Severus cringed as Albus simply stated the words; the old man never had been much for tact. There were half a million ways to better phrase, better tell her. A long drawn out silence followed, seeming to overpower the peaceful serenity of Dumbledor's office. Indeed, Melody looked stunned. Surely she had never imagined that her father would be Lord Voldemort, the most sadistic wizard to ever live. Severus almost laughed, what a shocking revelation. He could only imagine what he would be thinking if someone told him that he was the spawn of something so shamelessly wicked. It wouldn't really be that surprising, when he thought about it, ex-Death Eaters were not exactly perfect sinless gods.

Clear sapphire blue eyes stared at Dumbledore, plainly asking him how something like this could be truth. How could the blood that rushed through her veins be that of the cold cruel murderer that had taken away every bit of goodness from her life? He was her father. Father. Voldemort…her father.

"Why are you telling me this now? Why not sooner?" Melody's voice had taken on a harder edge, a stronger tone.

"There is a war going on around us, within us. Voldemort has followers everywhere; some of them have children living in this school. Dementors have taken over Azkaban prison, releasing the Death Eaters again. One of the escapees was your attacker. Lucius Malfoy. We, the Order of the Phoenix, believe you are one of the keys to defeating Voldemort. Just as he has immense power over the minds of wizards, you have greater power. Your mother was quite powerful as well, power to rival my own as well as Voldemort's. Combined, you have power that no other wizard has ever possessed. Even our legendary Harry Potter." At the name 'Potter' Severus made a disgusted noise, the angry scowl was once again imprinted over his features. "Of course you cannot do this alone, you will have help along the way. The Order will make sure of it." Harry Potter, a legend. She knew they were similar in that both their parents had been killed when they were too little to remember. Except his parents had been important enough to be murdered by Voldemort himself, while her mother was simply tortured by some Death Eater…which was worse?

Pray you never find out.

Watching her face he thoughtfully added, "You are among friends here Melody. You can trust us." The million dollar question, could she really? Life had been so simple just last week; finally things had started going right, but now she had been tossed into a whirlwind of confusion. She glanced at Severus, his eyes seemed more tired than earlier, no longer was that smirk there. Back to Dumbledore, he knew all about her family, and yet had never once sought her out to tell her. Anger overwhelmed her, taking place of some of the confusion. How dare these men sit there and tell her they needed her to help them with some damn war. What about her? Why didn't they tell her these things before?

"How dare you, both of you!" Both men sat back a bit, in surprise of her outburst. "I would have loved to know about my mother years ago! I would have loved to know who my father is! You knew these things, and yet it never crossed your minds to tell me, that is, not until it was convenient for you, until it would benefit you somehow. Right? Isn't that right?" Neither man spoke; for once Dumbledore was at a loss for words. She was right. He had never considered telling her about her family, always believed it would be better if she never knew. Gravely he realized what a sad mistake it was proving to be. "Do you know how long I dreamed of finding my father? What it would be like to finally hug him, and he would tell me he was sorry for never being there, tell me that he loved me."

Tears sprung into her eyes. "And my mother, just to visit her grave once…but I never knew where it was, but I'll bet you do. Do I have any brothers or sisters out there? You would know that too. I sure as hell wouldn't." The words sunk in and hit the mark with Dumbledore, but Severus simply sat there, staring at her coldly, he didn't feel sorry for her at all. "All these years I just wanted to KNOW. I didn't matter what the story was, so long as I knew. My past, my family. You knew my mother, why didn't you at least see to it that her daughter was taken care of? No, you sat here in your cozy little office and let me shiver in the cold midnight without a home. Obviously these people are after me, if I had known, maybe I could have protected Caleb." The revelation dawned on her right as she slipped the words off her tongue. Caleb, he could still be alive if they had told her, told her just a week early. These bits and pieces of information were critical, things could be so different, and she would still have a life to go home to, she would be so much more likely to help them, but now she just wanted to die. To her, it was inconceivable that Caleb could live, he could be alive. He could be here with her, holding her hand or putting his arm around her shoulders. Caleb could still laugh, smile, or say something stupid. They had made it impossible, they were just as to blame as the man, Lucius Malfoy, was.

Now the tears were flooding rivers, filling the crevices of her face, falling in droplets off her chin. Severus watched her coolly; didn't she see that this was so much bigger than her? It wasn't about her; it was about the whole world. If she were to go back living like an ignorant muggle, Voldemort would crush her world just as fast, if not swifter, than he would crush the wizarding world. She was so selfish, with her "what about me" speech. What about everyone else, surely she didn't believe that she was the only person who ever suffered?

"You are just as responsible for his death. You knew! You could have warned us…oh my god…I just want to go home." Her voice shuddered and she wiped her tears away quickly, humiliated by her lack of control. 

"Melody…" Dumbledore stood, but she wasn't to hear what he had to say. Severus cut him off, interrupting with rage of his own.

"No. No she will not go home. I will not sit here and watch you pity her Albus; she is being nothing short of selfish. There is no use ranting about what "ifs" girl, this is how the story played out, and this is what you have to go with. None of us can go back in time, we can only go forward. Yes we made a mistake, but our destiny lies with you, and you are still here. You can still do something worthwhile at this point." His wrath was building the longer he stared at her.

"Bloody hell girl, do you really believe that if you go home all this will go away?" Standing, he swept his arm around himself in a wide circle.  "I know that is what you would like, as long as your precious world of ignorant bliss is stable then to hell with the rest of us." He was perilously close to her, towering above her, hands gripping the corners of the chair she inhabited. 

Without thinking twice, Melody made a mistake. Her emotions had her torn to pieces; all she wanted was some sleep…attacking her like this was not something she needed, so she slapped him. Melody hit Severus Snape in the face. 


	5. Chapter Five: What About Me?

**Chapter Five: What About Me?**

Fury burned, or seethed rather, deep in the heart of his soulless black eyes. In his darkest fantasy, her slender head was between his curving fingers, black hair pressed softly against his palms. Slowly her skull would crush between his porcelain white hands, staining the flawless skin with hot crimson blood. Her blood would spread like wild rivers, tracing through each pore if his hands, wrapping around his wrists and raining down his arms. Before her skull completely caved in, an agonized scream would reach her lips, pouring out as slowly and hotly as the blood from her head. A shudder caressed his soul, bringing him back with a sting to reality. Her cool handprint was a heavy echo against his face.  

"The truth is a ruthless bitter disease isn't it?" Practically unfazed by the physical attack, Severus spoke in a low harsh tone. His face was now a mere inch from her own. Each of his breaths rolled over her face. "You seem so ready to just give up, renounce everything you believe because you don't have the easiest life. Let me tell you dear child, you are not the only one to ever suffer. By no means will your suffering end here, no matter what path you choose. Heed my words girl, do not forsake this world because things haven't gone according to your plan, this is bigger than any of us here. How can you possibly believe that you alone suffer? You know not what it means to truly _suffer_." Vaguely, but there nonetheless, in the background was Dumbledore pleading at Severus to step away from Melody, but the two were entranced with each other, locked in their own time. Glittering onyx stones glared straight into clear sapphire pools, dancing with the light twinkle of tears that had yet to fade away. "You have never felt pain like your dear sweet Caleb. Would you like me to tell you what Cruciatus feels like?" She made a weak, pleading noise in the negative, yet he completely ignored her. "To have every nerve in your body crackle and explode in a brilliant shock of agony, every bone break and break again with each muscle tearing over and over. Torture so severe, so incredible you cannot comprehend anything else, all you know is this sharp burning torment, twisting you inside out. Jagged shivers slicing down your broken spine, grabbing at the bones and yanking them further apart…that is true suffering." Finally he was silent, and quietly they stared at each other, tension immersed itself into her shoulders, refusing to let the chill of his stare make her quiver. Time stood still for them, allowing the silent communication to stretch, going on and on. 

Readjusting the strap on her bag, Melody swung it onto her weary shoulder. There was a dull aching in her back and her head was thickly clouded with all the discoveries the morning had birthed to her. Now it was mid-day and she was to be escorted down to the dungeons, where Dumbledore had prepared a small room for her.

The trip was silent and tense. Severus hadn't spoken a single word to her since their 'talk.' It had been a slight eye-opener for her, but yet she could not stop wondering what about me? The decision that she would indeed stay and help any way she could with the war, which she knew so little about, had already been made. Dumbledore had briefed her with few details both about the war and her family, after apologizing profusely for not telling her before, much to Snape's disgust. No she had no siblings, but her mother was buried in the Everlasting Cemetery. In order for their plans to work, she would have to come face to face with her father, with Voldemort. After a few hours sleep, she was to meet with the famous Boy-Who-Lived and several other key members of the Order.

Dreading the meeting, Melody quietly followed Severus down a winding corridor that seemed to slope downward ever so slightly. The air around them cooled the further they traveled, the gracefully whistle of Severus's robes was the only sound to penetrate the veil of silence between them. The halls grew darker and the temperature was downright cold, shrugging her shoulders in an attempt to warm herself, Melody cleared her throat, coaxing herself to say something, anything.

"Um…"

"What?" Curtly he tried to discourage her from further attempts at communication.

"Is it going to be this cold in my room?"

"Indeed."

There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence between them. His back stood straight and hard in front of her, guided her down the winding path. Glancing around she couldn't help but wonder why they didn't warm the hall with magic. It was so dark and dank down there, and cold. "Your rooms are down here aren't they? How do you stand it?" A poor stab at a conversation, but all the same, she did wonder.

"Matches my presence don't you think? Black and depressing…do I not send chills down your back?" Sarcasm rolled easily from his mouth. 

"Not really." Another mistake. Before she had time to react, he had swept around, facing her immediately. His long fingers wrapped around the tops of her shoulders, nails digging into her skin.

"Now perhaps?" The expression on his face combined with his coarse grasp on her, did indeed send a stream of chills sliding down her back. Apparently the look on her face told him all he needed to know, for he let go and turned away from her, resuming his brisk pace around a corner. 

"And here we are. Your rooms." With an exaggerated bow he opened the door wide, sweeping his hands around as though the doorway was on display. Curiously she eyed him; there was nothing friendly about this conversation. He was so acerbic, so sarcastic. The dramatic way he showed her the room disturbed her, he wasn't joking, he was mocking her with a deadly cruelty. Uneasily she remembered that she still didn't know where the Potions room was, and that was the place she was to meet him latter. 

"Thank you. But where is the Potions room? That is where I am supposed to go isn't it?" Fully expecting some strange mocking comment she stood nervously before him.

He nodded, "follow me." That was it, no cynicism, wow.

Further down the corridor they walked, passing only one other door. Melody was tempted to ask where the closed door led, but figured that if she was supposed to know, he would have informed her. Finally they came to a halt.

"And this would be your latter destination. I trust you can find your way back to your rooms without my assistants, correct?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"You are so very welcome." Thick with sarcasm he watched her turn and move smoothly down the hall, drifting into shadows until she was no longer visible.

Quietly he sat in his chair, staring at the dark green pattern etched expertly into the beautiful wood desk. His robes were thrown over the back of his chair and he tried to relax. Even now, he could still feel her smack. She had a lot of nerve hitting him like that, but he had attacked her in a way. Still, he felt no sympathy for her. How was he supposed to be concerned for her when he had so many of his own ghosts slithering through his empty soul? She had cried as he yelled at her, and he had wanted to hit her for the weakness. Could she face Voldemort that weak? Severus couldn't bear to think what the monster would do if she cried in front of him. 

But she is his daughter...oh I dout he has any fatherly impulses. He won't care about her, only her power and how it could be used to his advantage. True, true.

Melody was grieving though, perhaps after some time has passed, she will be over Caleb and be stronger because of it.

Severus…she will never be over Caleb if she really loved him, and I believe she did. After all, you still aren't over Lily.


	6. Chapter Six: Somebody Like You

Chapter Six: Somebody Like You 

The cold dungeon atmosphere draped itself around her, blanketing her in coldness. She melted into the cool crush of midnight blue satin sheets. Tears glimmered against her eyes, threatening to swallow them up and then slide down her cheeks. Indeed, with one soft and swift shut of her eyelids the tears fell in great gushes over her face, landing in the nest of black hair flattened behind her head. 

Her dreams were a murky sea, hot and damp. Sweat slid down in tiny rivulets over her forehead. A sultry haze shadowed her eyes; everything was cast in an oily black fog. Something wet placed a dark kiss over her lips…but before she could reach out and touch the mysterious person, they were gone. Vanished like smoke. They left behind a vague scent…Caleb? Was that him? Where was he? Something soft brushed past her and was gone. There was a scream so she started off toward it, yet couldn't find its source. It was familiar, but started to fade the harder she thought about it. The scream was her own, but it had to be an echo, she wasn't screaming right now. Blindly she moved through the darkness, terrified suddenly of things she could not see. Out of nowhere, hands wrapped themselves around her throat from behind, and she was pulled backwards. Strangely though, she was not troubled. She sank into dark cloaks and wondered…is this death? A pale face she had never seen before danced in front of her, looking down, she must be lying on the ground. Cold rock appeared beneath her, stabbing into her back. The face passed in front of her again, this time with an ugly twisted grin plastered across it. Distorted, it stopped and disappeared. She was all alone. Getting up, she moved forward and there was a light that beckoned to her, but before she reached it, it was gone. 

Cold sweat was soaked into the sheets around her. She had awaked half off the bed. There was a heavy, ominous feeling choking her. The watch she had with her told her that she was about twenty minutes late for her meeting with Severus Snape and the Order. Great…I'm off to such a wonderful start, first I hit the man, and then I decided to be late. Somehow I don't think he is going to let this slide. I just can't do much of anything right can I? Life can be so grand sometimes. 

"Good afternoon Miss Joseph. It is simply wonderful that you _finally_ decided to join us. You are the reason for this meeting after all." His eyes carved her up and down.

"I'm sorry." Her eyes didn't wish to meet the scornful black ones fixed on her, so they wandered taking in the three other people in the room.

"Yes, well…we were just about to go and search for you, since you are so far away and it is so easy to get lost walking in a perfectly straight line." He was so relaxed sitting there in his chair. There were no robes now, just a black shirt tucked neatly into black pants. He was quite slender. Behind his head rested his arms, cradling his lank hair. "My, it is a wonder you made it through the door without getting confused." There was a smug smirk turning up one corner of his mouth and she hoped the look she shot him was as dark and disgusted as she felt inside.

"Alright Severus. That's more than enough, I do believe Melody gets the point." An older woman stood and stepped toward Melody, who was still poised in the doorway. As she drew closer her motherly expression faded and she looked strangely at Melody before offering her hand. "Come inside child. Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration Professor and headmistress of Gryffindor House." I don't really care who you are…Melody couldn't help but be turned off by the woman's queer, lingering stare, she shook Melody's hand hesitantly, almost fearfully. Fortunately the two weren't forced to speak anymore, Snape began the introductions with an irritable tone.

"This is Melody Joseph, and I do believe the only daughter of the Dark Lord. She has agreed, although not graciously, to help the Order." Although not graciously…well do excuse me. Melody rolled her eyes at Snape's cutting reference to the awkward conversation in Dumbledore's office. "Melody, you have already had the absolute pleasure of meeting Professor McGonagall, this is Remus Lupin, and of course…Harry Potter." Snape spoke Harry's name like it was a curse, a tainted slimy thing. The expression of pure hatred aimed at Harry Potter stunned her for a moment, why did he seem to hate the boy so much…because he was famous, or was it something more?

Melody shook both Remus's and Harry's hands. The latter handshake was surprisingly strong and confident. The boy was only sixteen like herself, and seemed to take everything that had happened so far in perfect stride, completely ignoring the obvious loathing in Snape's voice. He was friendly, and gave her a small handsome smile before retreating and pulling out a chair for her at one of the front desks.

Melody thanked him and sat down, to her left sat Remus atop a desk, in front of her was a smirking Snape, to her left was Harry, and behind her stood Minerva McGonagall.

With a brisk clearing of her throat, Minerva started the meeting. "Well then, what do we know thus far? Has Melody been completely informed?"

"I do not believe she has Minerva, and I trust you will waste no time telling her everything." For a brief moment Minerva eyed the other professor, straining to figure out what he meant. 

"Melody, we believe that you have a strong connection with the Dark Lord…do you dream of him at all?" The question was quick; she moved around Melody and stood in front of her, blocking Melody's view of Snape.

"I don't know, I don't know who he is, what he looks like or anything."

"Oh…well…do you have odd dreams?"

"Err, sometimes…is this going anywhere? I don't see what this has to do with anything." Melody knew she was being rude, but why couldn't the woman just spit it out, instead of asking her about some damn dreams. Snape rose from his desk, and came up behind Minerva, startling her as he moved soundlessly. She quickly moved away from him and he spoke directly to Melody.

"Well said. From what Dumbledore has mentioned, it is likely that you and your father share a bond that connects you; that he knows where you are, and if you were to set off to find him, you would end up wherever he is hiding. All we have to do is tap into this source and control it, thus leading ourselves to his hidden fortress. Indeed you will eventually come face to face with him, are you prepared?"

"I don't know…and no, I don't feel any supernatural power that is guiding me anywhere. But if he knows where I am, why doesn't he have someone bring me to him? I don't understand any of this."

"I do believe that he wants you, he knows you are powerful. That is why he has sent his Death Eaters after you. I also believe he is afraid of you, you do not show any signs of joining with him, which means you are likely to fight against him. I can't see why he didn't have you brought to him the night Lucius came to your house." Severus almost grimaced. Now she would want to know more about Lucius, and how Severus knew him, that was an ugly area.

"Lucius? The bastard has a name…how do you know him? You spoke his name like he was a friend." The suspicion in her tone was evident, painfully so.

"He is no friend of mine, but I do have dealings with him, it is my role as part of the Order. I am a spy for Dumbledore." The girl watched him suspiciously. Damn Voldemort's paranoia, it was in her blood as well. 

Carefully she spoke, dancing lightly over the subject she ached to discuss, Death Eaters. "How did you just get this role as spy? I don't think Voldemort would just let anyone join his ranks."

Eyeing her wearily, Severus decided he had no choice but to just tell her, it would be better in the long run, then she would be more likely to trust him. Though she undoubtedly would not trust him for a while after hearing the information he would be sharing with her. "I have convinced Voldemort that I am a Death Eater."

"How?"

"Fairly easily…I was a Death Eater long ago. He simply thinks I still am."

There was quite a long pause. Everyone else in the room already knew his secret, though none were comfortable with it. There was always that nagging voice in the back of their minds: what if he still was a Death Eater?

"That's good. That's really good. Actually, I shouldn't be so surprised, your whole demeanor screams: I am a vicious bloodthirsty murderer. Tell me, how many people did you kill before you found it in your heart to repent? How many lives did you tear apart, how many women did you rape? How many babies did you kill?"

"That is enough!"

"How many? Or did you lose count?" They were both standing, glaring wasn't even the word, the solid stare that tied them together was frightening, and all onlookers knew to stay away and leave them alone. "Did you have anything to do with the death of my mother…or his parents?" She pointed at Harry, and Severus refused to look his way, the sick truth was, he had a lot to do with the death of the Potters.

"That has nothing to do with what is at hand, once again you have gone off onto a subject that doesn't matter. My past and your pathetic suffering have very little to do with the war. Yes, I was a Death Eater, I killed people, and bloody hell I enjoyed it. There is nothing you can do to change this." The room was in shock, never had he spoken such things to anyone, but something about this girl was insufferable, she set him off like no one ever did. For a moment he was ashamed, he prided himself on his control, and just seconds ago he had lost it, she was lucky he had refrained from striking her in much the same way she had hit him earlier.

Rage boiled inside Melody. She was blind to everything else except the tall pale man in front of her. Oh how badly she wanted to hurt him. Make him feel some of what she felt. He enjoyed killing people…how could he say something like that? There was one brief comforting thought…he'll burn in hell. But the relief was turned into twisted confusion; did she even believe in hell anymore?

"How am I supposed to work with…how am I supposed to trust somebody like you?"


End file.
